i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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