Its about making memories worth repressing
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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