The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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