Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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