Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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