oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize