My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
