at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
