I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize