Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My first STD was from a foam party
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
