so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
this is an emotional support booty call
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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