I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
