I'm really into asian looking animals
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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