How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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