When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
