It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
