Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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