I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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