i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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