the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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