He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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