This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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