I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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