its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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