I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
