sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
