I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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