When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
