at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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