I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize