I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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