Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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