and she was petting her beer can
you didnt know i had herpes?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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