I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
