I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
