This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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