If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
