I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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