You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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