i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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