She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Still dying that you shit outside
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
