i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We have started to decorate penises.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
