Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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