I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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