But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
