oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
