I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
