a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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