Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
