I think I just saw someone hide a body.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
