I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
