you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
