he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
