She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
