god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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