plz talk dirty to me
another moral hangover. fuck.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
