You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
