I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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