yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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