I must be too annoying 4 u.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
