I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
